Super Bowl 56 Winner Guaranteed!

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The Cincinnati Bengals are going to win the Super Bowl. I guarantee it. And here’s why.

Part 1 by Chad Lemoine:

Not only did we just enter into the Chinese new year of the Tiger, which our homie Ant called out weeks ago, but the Cincinnati Bengals also have a powerful advantage you may not know about.

The last Super Bowl without a single LSU player on either roster was 21 years ago in Super Bowl 35.

Great stat, Chad. But what the hell does that have to do with the Cincinnati Bengals?

Well I’m glad you asked. Since that Super Bowl, there has been at least one player on at least one of the Super Bowl rosters in 20 consecutive Super Bowls leading up to this one. And both teams in Super Bowl 56 have at least 1, making it the 21st.

So I went back to see how teams had fared over the course of those two decades because I was certain #NFLSU had to play a major role and offer a major advantage. That’s just how we do down here in the boot.

In those 20 Super Bowls, 18 winners had at least 1 LSU player on the roster, only 2 did not (Ravens in SB 47 and Broncos in SB 50). Okay, Chad, but both Super Bowl 56 participants have LSU players (Ja’Marr Chase, Thaddeus Moss, Joe Burrow, and Tyler Shelvin for the Bengals and Odell Beckham Jr and Andrew Whitworth for the Rams).

So now you’re dying to know why having more LSU players guarantees victory for the Bengals, aren’t you?

OK, I’ll admit it… It’s not a guarantee based on these numbers, but the alignment of these numbers with the Chinese new year of the Tiger just kicking off days ago, I don’t see how the Bengals lose.

When one team has more LSU players than the other, the team with more LSU players is 13-4 in Super Bowls in the last 20 years. When the team with more LSU players has 3 or more, they are 7-2 in the last 20 Super Bowls. But the Bengals have 4 Tigers, Chad! I know. And teams with 4 or more LSU players are 4-1 in the last 20 Super Bowls.

All this, combined with the Chinese new year and this brilliant gematria breakdown by Ant offer a guarantee that the Bengals will win Super Bowl 56!

What if I told you that the Rams aren’t even safe with Andrew Whitworth on the roster, having spent the first 11 years of his career in the uniform of none other than the Cincinnati Bengals.

Super Bowl 56
Super Bowl LVI
LSU
Georgia
Joe Burrow
Matthew Stafford
SEC
Football
Andrew Whitworth
Bengals
Rams

I rest my case.

Thanks Chad.

Part 2 by Tyler Hohenshelt:

Alright, if you have made it this far it means that you have gotten past Chad’s LSU love affair. It may be the year of the Tiger in China, but in America this sports season so far has been about Georgia. I’m talking about the Atlanta Braves bringing home the world series and the Georgia Bulldogs winning a national championship. Now obviously the Atlanta Falcons are not playing in the Super Bowl but Georgia being free from their sports curse lends some help to the real Super Winner…

The Los Angeles Rams are going to win the Super Bowl. I guarantee it. And heres why.

If any I Got Next fans are out there reading this they probably have an idea of who I am. I am Tyler from Pickin’ Winners and you have seen Chad and me go back and forth about LSU and UGA over the past couple weeks. Well LSU is not the only team with a Super Bowl streak. This is also the 21st year in a row in which a UGA Bulldog will be in the game.

Show me the numbers

Since Chad brought out all of his stats, i guess now it is my turn. Going back to Super Bowl 36 the team with the most UGA players in the Super Bowl is 11-5 overall, and if a team has 3 or more Dawgs they are 3-2. I would like to thank David Andrews, Center for the New England Patriots, for padding the stats. This year the Cincinnati Bengals only have 1 UGA player in Offensive Lineman Trey Hill. Well I would not be making the case for the Rams if I did not have a reason.

The LA Rams boast 3 UGA players in Sony Michel, Leonard Floyd, and of course Matthew Stafford. I think Stafford is the key to it all. Since I like talking about the Natty so much heres an interesting tidbit, the last UGA quarterback to beat Alabama before Stetson Bennett just so happens to be Stafford himself. He is a likely favorite to win the Super Bowl MVP.

Speaking of MVP’s, UGA has 3 to LSUs none in the history of the big game including 1 during this 20 year stretch in Hines Ward. The Rams also happen to have a former Super Bowl MVP on their team named Von Miller. Another amazing fact about Super Bowl 56 is that it is only the second time ever that two number 1 overall draft pick QBs will be going head to head. The first time this occurred was in Super Bowl 50 between Peyton Manning and Cam Newton, and surprise surprise they are also SEC quarterbacks. The SEC East QB was victorious in that match up and history tends to repeat itself.

I rest my case.

Thanks Tyler. But you know me. I have to have the last word…

I think you’re taking some liberties by only speaking of the recent Georgia connection to championships. You are correct that the Atlanta Braves and Georgia Bulldogs won the two most recent major championships, but the Georgia connection isn’t the connection you should be focusing on.

You should be focusing on the letter B and the fact that, since President Joe Biden took office, every major champion has started with a B.

  • Baylor Bears
  • Milwaukee Bucks
  • Atlanta Braves
  • Georgia Bulldogs

So it looks like the Cincinnati Bengals are the choice yet again.

And while it’s really cool that Matthew Stafford was the last Georgia quarterback to beat Alabama before Stetson Bennett did it to win the national championship this year, Matthew Stafford is still sitting there after all these years with no championship rings to speak of since that Texas state championship back in 2006.

Super Bowl 56
Super Bowl LVI
LSU
Georgia
Joe Burrow
Matthew Stafford
SEC
Football
Bengals
Rams

Not only did Joe Burrow beat Alabama in his Heisman Trophy winning season, he also ran through the college football playoff to take home the biggest piece of hardware college football has to offer just 2 seasons ago.

Maybe you’ll have a better chance at being right when Stetson Bennett makes it to the Super Bowl.

SEC! SEC! SEC!

One guarantee I’m sure Tyler and I can both agree on, though, is that if you want to win the Super Bowl, you’d better load up on SEC talent. The SEC boasts 29 players (including those on IR and practice squads) in Super Bowl 56, yet another year with more Super Bowl participants than any other conference in college football.

And while you’re loading up on SEC talent, if I’m just going purely by the numbers, I can’t think of a better tandem to focus on than LSU and Georgia.

Super Bowl 56
Super Bowl LVI
LSU
Georgia
Joe Burrow
Matthew Stafford
SEC
Football
Bengals
Rams

As always, bet responsibly.

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