The Tantric Male: Chapter 4 – Love, What Is It?
Form and Function
Love has so many meanings and takes so many different forms. It’s amazing that the English language just has one word for all of its manifestations. Other languages have different words for the particular kind of love you wish to describe, but not English.
There is the most common use of the word, the love one has for their choice of affection. In this case, it’s often stated, you have “fallen in love.” There is also the type of love you feel for your parents, children, family members, and friends. In a spiritual context there is the love that you feel sometimes for Nature, God, the Universe, and all of humanity. Then there is the love that you feel for experiences and things, like music, art, books, travel, etc.
Connecting to Love
I think the underlying quality that runs through all of these different forms of love is deep connection. When you are so deeply connected with someone or something, you feel love. When you are “in love”, you feel such an intense connection to someone that the rest of the world seems to fall away. It feels as if all of your processes have been taken over, and that is all you can possibly think about.
The same is true in a peak spiritual experience. You feel love so profound and all-encompassing that your entire being just melts into the “All there is”.
In Tantra, it is possible to cultivate this feeling of love in all areas of your life. Being present in the moment, open to feelings, thoughts, and experiences, and focusing on the light in others are all great ways to elevate your emotions of love.
The Guiding Force
With the interconnectedness of technology and the fast pace of life we live today, this deep connection is something that we seem to be missing. The ability to slow down, take some very deep breaths, and connect deeply to someone or something can transform your life in very profound ways.
This practice of connecting allows for a higher level of intimacy with yourself, other people, and the spiritual Universe. Your gratitude will grow. Your energy will rise. Your light will shine brighter and brighter.
As a result of Tantric practice, you will discover that there is no particular destination. The magic is in the journey, the moment, the feeling. When you can exist more and more in the vast openness of connection, Love will be the guiding force. Not only will this transform you, but it colors everything and everyone around you with the greatest gift of creation.
Exercise – Eye Gazing (5 minutes)
This exercise will cultivate deep intimacy, connection, and therefore love. You can either do this alone in a mirror, or with a partner. Can you take 5 minutes to create a new level of intimacy with yourself or your lover?
With a Partner: Sit directly in front of your partner, cross-legged if possible. Get as close as you can without touching your legs. Next, open your left hand facing up, and have them put their right hand facing down on top of it. And vice versa for the other hand.
Now, begin a deep breathing flow. Breathe in through the nose or mouth slowly and steadily, then exhale with the same tempo and intensity. Pretty soon you and your partner will be breathing in unison.
While you are breathing, stare into the non-dominant eye of your partner. For right handed people, this is the left eye. For left-handed people, this is the right eye. Maintain eye contact throughout the exercise.
As you go begin to go deeper into this practice, you may notice some strange things happening. Your partner’s face may begin to shift and change shape. You may get a giggly sense of internal laughter. All sorts of things can begin to start happening. Just maintain your presence, focus on the breath, the spirit of your partner, and the deep connection and love that exists in every moment.
Solo: Sit in front of a mirror, and do this same exercise. You can put one hand on your heart, and one on your solar plexus as you breathe in and out. Stare into your own-non dominant eye, and send love, forgiveness, and acceptance into your own spirit.
This is an incredible exercise to build love, connection, and intimacy into a relationship with someone or with yourself. Eye gazing can often be more intimate and meaningful than kissing or even having sexual intercourse with someone. This just goes to show that Tantra lovemaking can take as many forms as love itself. Explore and enjoy!
Enjoy the Ride,
Andy Eversole, C.H.