The Vibe: Comfort, Attraction, and Sexuality

The Vibe: Comfort, Attraction, and Sexuality

The vibe. You hear women talk about this ambiguous term non stop. She can't describe "the vibe" because she feels it.

But what does it mean?

Simply put: Comfort, attraction, and sexuality. Then managing your projection and escalation of the three when interacting with a woman.

With reactions ranging from her looking at you as a fuck buddy, to boyfriend, creep, friendzone, love of their life, or as some lame-o dork who "doesn't get it".

Having too much or too little of one can get you blown out, as can utilizing an improper balance of the three.

Vibe #1: Attraction

Attraction is done over several cues, but its best thought of as your presentation of yourself. This creates her buying temperature for you.


This is primarily what gets you in the door with a woman, but usually are not enough for a woman to take you seriously.

  • Tall, dressed nice, friendly, light appropriately timed physical touching
  • Dressing nice, frequenting nicer places
  • Having a nice place, having money
  • Preselection aka other girls like you and want to be around you

If you notice, this is a list of superficial things that can be gathered from a first impression.

Displaying your value is essential to attracting women, but it is done purely to attract not close the deal.

Vibe #2: Comfort

Comfort/security is essential because women are literally attracted to the #1 lethal thing in their lives—men.
Patrice O'neil on Women and Men

This comfort that you build is also known as rapport:

"To get along with someone really well. It is quite commonly used but still somewhat obscure, in other words possibly a good word to impress someone. (Urban Dictionary)"

Simply put: being able to make her laugh, being well known, having people speak well about you, asking engaging questions, etc.

  • Jokes, clowning, safe hand placement, banter
  • Asking good questions, making her laugh
  • Us against the world comments
  • People know you aka social proof

These things are great with getting her comfortable being around you. But, can give you the reputation as a dancing monkey. OR the dreaded....

“You’re like a brother to me."

Vibe #3: Sexuality

This is the seduction part and arguably the most important piece.

In my opinion this vibe is the most important and the most fun. Because when you meet a girl, let's be honest: seduction is what we are all thinking about..

...and she knows what you want from her.

Romantic Touching

Projecting your sexual interest is a fun dance between you and a woman: conveying your intentions directly with plausible deniability and indirect communication.

It’s like you and a beautiful woman being in on an inside joke of simmering sexual tension. They say the game is suppose to be fun. And when you get this skill down, you understand why.

  • Escalating physical contact from safe zones to more erogenous zones
  • Eye contact, dominant body language, whispering in her ear
  • Talking about children (baby making), talking about tattoos, etc

A woman feeling sexual tension with you is fun for sure, but more importantly its an exciting feeling for her.

Think about it: women spend all day rejecting dorks with no game. So her meeting a guy who hits her attraction cues, makes her feel comfortable, and incites passion is rare.


Most men acquire resources to get girls because it is a major attraction cue. It also projects security for her and her potential offspring.

But without the sexual energy at best you’re an only fans simp and at worst an annoying orbiter she can text for free validation.

The second most category of men find themselves in. They hit enough attractions cues to get in the game, project comfort by being comfortable and funny, but never try to escalate sexually.

This is the white knights and betas who think that if they are nice enough the girl will pick them. AKA nice guys finish last.

Friendzone = Too Much Comfort

When not used too strongly and without the other two, your vibe will come off as super creepy, or even be interpreted as down right dangerous!

You Need the Playerism

The category you should strive for is the guy she wants the one night stand with.

Watch men who are successful with women and they are constantly projecting sexuality even if subtlety. You need to place yourself in a sexual frame for 2 reasons:

By by making your intentions clear. By projecting sexuality, you give her the chance to know exactly what she is dealing with and decide if she wants to play.

And the beautiful part is, like I said above most men fall into the orbiter or friendzone role. Depending on your player level, damn near every women will usually opt to play just to check your congruence. It’s a beautiful thing.

Begin with Passion
Her passion for you is a vibe of making her feel strongly about your reproductive value, being her best option:

That needs to be you.

These days, women have had enough sexual partners to the point that they are likely alpha widowed. A woman who is alpha widowed, will compare all her future romantic partners to that alpha.

And those were passionate decisions, not logical ones.

Alpha Widowed

Whether thats finding a good girlfriend, having a wife, or starting a family.

You need to master the vibe.

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