As I said in Chapter 1, there were several identified variables hindering my playerism in the modern dating marketplace. We are going to talk about my interactions with two girls in particular. And then a brief overview of my interactions with the rest of the girls I talked to.
With these chapters, I will chronicle my trial-and-error process of figuring out these variables, and turning them into constants for the playerism, as I seek to regain access to the secret society.
After a few days of hitting the streets like a stroller, I have some preliminary data to report back.
But first, here is what I went to test:
- Accelerated verbal escalation
- Physical escalation
Patrice O’Neil 1-30 Rating System
- 1-10: Average girls: These girls are.. not-ugly, but maybe are cute. There's not anything overly special about their appearance, but you find them attractive. Generally regarded by all men as such.
- 11-20: Hot Girls: Girls that would qualify as pretty. They have a sexier figure and range from that, to being just short of paid model status. Some men may elevate these girls to the lower end of the 20s. Other men may find them on the high end of the single digits.
21-30: Fine Girls: Girls that could be paid models. Real genetic marvels. Would qualify as gorgeous or beautiful. Generally regarded by all men as such.
**For me these girls will likely be all-natural**
Girl A: 5’0” Latina – 17/30
- I never tried to physically escalate
- Eventually, she sat on my lap and we kissed.
- I never asked her to come home with me, but we hung out for an extended period of time.
Physically escalating with a girl is crucial to a player's handbook.
You don’t want the first contact you make with a girl to be late in the interaction, and for that first contact to be romantic/sexual. It’s a jump that can be weird and awkward. Even typing that makes me cringe.
Many girls have had awkward first kisses because the guy wanted to kiss her, and she feels his anxiousness building up over the course of the date – don’t be that guy.
Luckily, I had been spitting the major playerisms that night, which did make the transition to her sitting on my lap more natural. I made a comment about my strong-soft black man lips, and her not being able to handle them. I took her finger and poked them, she said something about liking them which apparently was enough. We kissed shortly after
I did not have a killer instinct. Usually, if the escalation to a kiss happens with the right amount of sexual tension, and it's “good vibes”, she is at least open to the idea of coming home with you.
I never pulled the trigger.
I’ve talked in the past, the purpose of the game is screening for girls that don’t like you, rather for those that do. The faster you can determine that the faster you can move on to finding a girl that likes you.
My unwillingness to pull that trigger was a violation of that rule. If I had asked, I am now putting her on the spot to decide if she likes me that much or not. If not, cool, I know she likes me, we can exchange numbers and schedule a date/meet some other time. If she says yes, great.
But by not asking, I place myself in the “no balls” category. A man who talks a big game but can’t walk it. And the more attraction she feels to you, the worse the swing in the negative direction because she feels “tricked” by a sheep in wolf’s clothing.
Girl B: 5’5” – 15/30
- I did not physically escalate
- Eventually, I went to whisper something in her ear and she tried to kiss me
- When we left, I joked that she should give me a ride home – she did
- I asked her to come up to check out my place – she did
- *She went to the restroom*
Bad-good game across the board.
Once again, the verbal escalation was received exceptionally well. However, I was once again plagued with poor physical escalation.
As the conversations and jokes continued, I picked up my flirtations with her.
I went to whisper something in her right ear, and she mirrored her face to mine thinking there was a kiss coming, and she hit me with her half-closed-seizure eyes before realizing it wasn’t a kiss. *green light*
Being the (un)smooth operator I am, I pulled back and teased her about it. And told her I’d give her one. And we had a short little make-out session. The night continued and she said something about not doing anything with me that night.
Eventually, we both were about to go our separate ways. I walked her to her car when I made a joke about driving me a ride home to which she agreed. *green light* This was bad game for 2 reasons.
1)Plausible Deniability – women do not want to feel ho-ish. Often depending on the warmth/coldness of the escalation you will have to give her an excusable reason to come back with you – like giving you a ride home. Secret Society Dax used to say things about grilled cheese sandwiches, baking cakes, and eating mac & cheese. Was I serious about eating? Yes, but the point is, it gave her a reason to go back with me. And if it happens, it happens.
2)She was willing to go home with me earlier – As making out happens, you need to be close to pulling the trigger, and giving her the chance to back out. Her willingness to drive to my place indicates that she likely had been waiting for me to grow some balls this whole time.
This was compounded by more bad game.
Once back at my place, I asked her to come up to my place to show her since we would be hanging out from now on. She agreed. *green light*
I showed her the stand-up shower with the bench during the tour of my place. I joking it called it “the sex box”. I sat down in it (off) and told her to sit on my lap to see if we would have space. She did. *green light*
Then at the conclusion of the tour, she asked to go to the bathroom. *green light*
When I didn’t make a move after she got back, she said she had to go. I walked her to her car and never heard from her again.
The girls were both ready to be asked to go home significantly earlier than I perceived at the moment. I was so caught up in keeping the vibe romantic, sexual, and fun that I forgot to…
A.B.C. Always be closing.
I took what she said at face value about no sex. All of her non-verbal green lights indicated otherwise.
All 6 of them and I missed them all.
The bathroom one was the last straw – I can’t believe I missed that one. If you’ve ever had a girlfriend, you know what I’m talking about.
Imagine a girl thinks you’re in the Society, and at every green light she gives you, you fail, she continually gives you second chances, and then at the most obvious green light, you drop the ball.
You run shotgun game first looking to disqualify girls as quickly as possible to find ones that like you.
I gave too many girls that I found attractive too much pursuit, rather than probing for their interest level.
Their body language was aloof.
They never tried to close the space when we talked.
They entertained me and laughed at the way I made them feel, but they never crossed the line into "flirtatious."
But for every positive sign, they mixed in 2-non-interested cues.
Play the game WELL or lose.-Dante Nero
Choosing not to play is choosing to lose.
Choosing not the play WELL is choosing to lose.
I was truly a man who didn’t get it.
Chapter 3 coming soon.