Missed part 1? Go back and check out Molly's sales pitch
Struggling to craft effective sales messages? Response rate pretty low? Need tips on sales messaging? This new series breaks down real-life LinkedIn and e-mail sales messages I receive on my personal accounts. We'll talk about what they did right and give tips on where they could improve to help you sell your products or services with effective sales messages.
Use Case 2: Enter Joe
What Joe Did Right
1. “Be Brief, Be Brilliant, Be Gone” is a good motto. Adopt it. Joe's first message nails the brevity. When Joe sent me a connection request I knew I was in for a sales pitch, and I read every message I get, so I appreciate him keeping it quick. Thank you, Joe.
2. Joe calls himself out in his second message. You might think this counter-productive but it's actually a great tactic. I know salesmen can be annoying. You know salesmen can be annoying. I know that you know when I am pitching you that salesmen can be annoying. There is nothing wrong with calling attention to this especially if you can add a little humor to it. When I make in-person cold calls, one of my favorite lines to defuse a possible hostile introduction is "Nice to meet you Mr. X. My name is Jeremiah Campana with ABC company. I know you're SUPER excited to see a salesman on a Monday, right (pause for light chuckles around)? Look, I know you're busy, especially this time of year, so I'll be brief for ya. Then I begin my spiel with an open-ended question.
Where Joe Could Improve
1. Unbeknownst to Joe, I wrote him off right after his first sentence. Joe comes right out of the gate telling me what he wants. If you’ve read any of my previous articles, you know what I am about to say. Nobody cares what you want Joe! I'll beat this horse into powder if that's what it takes for you sales folks to stop saying “I want.” I could go on ad nauseum but I suggest reading what veteran salesman Lucas Hamon has to say. Or read Sales Differentiation by Lee Salz. Or type in any search bar: sales nobody cares what you want and pick from a plethora of articles rallying against the term. Just stop saying it.
2. My absolute favorite part of being involved in sales is trade shows and conventions. I've been to countless numbers of them, and despite a few outliers, they have all been a good time. That being said, I have absolutely no idea what Joe means when he says he can automate that process for me. Is he going to attend the convention in my stead? Is he going to man the booth while I walk around and network? Is this an app that data collects for me? I don't get it. The pitch is short enough that he could add a sentence or two and tell me what he means and what it looks like for other clients he works with.
3. Joe connects with me on LinkedIn and then proceeds to ask "What is it that you do?" What I do is literally one scroll down from where you clicked the button to connect with me, my guy.
You can't expect to have a meaningful engagement with any prospect if you did absolutely 0 seconds' worth of research on them before contacting them. If you're prospecting on LinkedIn, there is already a wealth of knowledge about your prospect right in front of you. Some basic data you should have before messaging a prospect is their job title and description, length of time in their current role, background experiences, and the company website. Then go to the company website and spend 5 minutes researching. I guarantee you will craft better messages taking this step alone.
Final Grade
Lots of improvement is needed here. I have to flunk my man and give this sales DM an F.
Now take these tips and get to prospecting.
Good luck and God Bless.
