"Does she like me?"
These are the 4 crucial words on every man's brain.
And something that kills us a little bit when we find out a cute girl tried hitting on us for weeks, but somehow, we totally missed it. And now she's telling you overtly because she's moved on.
We've all been there. I remember having to educate myself, step by step, on how to figure this out too.
Women will always forgive you for being bold, but they will never forgive you for being a pussy. And as a general rule of thumb: women will not intentionally send out attraction signals to men they don’t like. So when you miss her signals, she assigns a negative connotation to her attraction towards you.
To win these interactions, the first thing to realize is women employ plausible deniability. The reason behind why is a conversation for another time. But plausible deniability are innocuous actions that can be denied socially as unintentional, coincidental, gestures. We call these things indicators of interest, or IOI's for short.
So we are going to go over 4-IOI's, that provide women with plausible deniability, but in terms of dating: are massive green lights to the question of "does she like me?". Her eye contact, touch, proximity, and willingness to follow your lead.
Let's get to it.
I’m probably going to say, "this is one of my favorites" a few times. But this is one of my favorites. Eye contact is a safe, but extremely direct IOI.
Most men will not confidently return serve when it comes to a woman’s eye contact. So when you are the one who does, you instantly stand out to a woman. And in a world that is becoming increasingly digital, and soy, understanding her eye contact is an easy way to separate yourself from the pack.
Don't blink homie.
While it's not that serious if you look away, it is a major turn on if you win the staring contest. Don’t be creepy and have a crazy look on your face. A light smirk or smile will do the trick. A more advanced move would be to convey you’re sexual energy through your eyes and smile, but that’s insider trading for another time.
Should she look away, just wait a few seconds. Sometimes she will look back. Now this is about 50-50: she could be interested, or she could be trying to figure out who the creep is staring at her. Lucky for you, women know that eye contact is an IOI. And like I said above: women will not intentionally send out attraction signals to men they don’t like. Throw out a friendly wave like you did in kindergarden and see if she returns serve. If she's not interested it will be obvious.
I love eye contact because it is usually intentional and takes a conscious effort to execute. Its covert, but a beautiful-clear green light that says “hey I like you, just don’t look away so I know I should talk to you!!”
The number one threat to a woman’s existence is …..men. Its like salmon covered in honey walking around bears. So understand that if she is breaking into your personal space its not because she’s looking at you like a threat to her existence. She wants to be in your space because she's attracted to you.
Are a method of plausible deniability for her. Maybe she's just touchy feely, but maybe she actually likes you. But two key screening mechanisms are:
- Where is she touching you.
- How frequent.
If she's already invading your space she likes you. Everything after is just measuring how attracted she is. A lot of touching is literally her DNA (feelings, cave woman, etc) not being able to keep her hands off of you, and yes, take it that literal.
More overt touching would be touching you in muscular areas. Biceps, shoulders, chest, abs. Literal screening for physical dominance as a mate. About as clear as day as it gets.
Another favorite fo mine. Her pressing her body, especially the hips/belly/pelvis area, into your space is as green as green lights get. Total frontal body language also falls in this category. If you feel uncomfortable with a side of:
“Why are you so close without your arms in-front of your torso to defend yourself?"
She likes you.
The vulnerabilities of mammals are primarily located on the frontal torso—belly, throat, genitals, etc. Her exposing her vulnerabilities to you is an act of submission. Wrap your arm around the low-back of her waist, pull her in close and secure her vulnerabilities with your masculine energy.
The proximity rule is another one of my favorites. Like I said above: salmon covered in honey. This one also takes a little more awareness of your surroundings. Women will not put themselves around men they don’t like for fear of sending the wrong signal to the wrong man. So you can be sure this one is beyond coincidence.
Weather you show up to the location/area first or last be aware of the women in the area. If a woman is closing the distance between the two of you, she's trying to make it easy to approach her.
The easiest cue to recognize is her actively removing obstacles to your approach.
- Relocating to move around crowds, eliminating people between you and her.
- Relocating, and staying close for a prolonged period of time.
- Following you around the location.
When a woman likes you, she will make it easy for you to approach her.
Here is the reason why this is my favorite, the good ole “whoops, I didn’t mean to bump into you.” Women are supremely aware of the space around themselves, especially threats that are bigger than them. Think about it: when was the last time you went to a bar, and girls are just bumping into you fighting for bar space?
If a woman bumps into you, it's almost never an accident. You really think she didn’t see the grizzly bear that could eat her honey salmon ass?
Give me a break.
If you really want the interaction to take off, call her out on it, and tell her you like it. Ask her what made her so brave, get her talking about why she’s attracted to you. Additionally, once the conversation begins, pay attention to the touch rule above.
4.Follows your lead
This is more of a next step/compliance test.
Courtship is a delicate dance—not really. It’s a series of compliance tests where you get to find out how attracted she is to you. Following your lead is great way to see not only how much she likes you, but how comfortable she is with you.
Like I said, the greatest threat to a woman is a man.
At bars, women tend to travel in packs. If a woman chooses to leave her group to go with you, she is choosing to leave the security of the pack. Either your game was that tight, she and her friend group trust you, or she's so attracted to you, that the upside of being with you out weighs the potential threat you pose.
This is a strong indicator of interest as she also is choosing you over potential backlash of ditching her friends, AND them giving her shit later for acting like a hoe. 99% of the time, women will not run that risk overtly, so if she does, green light.
A woman out by herself is as dangerous as it gets for her. When/if she indicates interest and you invite her on an instant coffee date, there is no hiding intentions. Her following you, a total stranger, instantly takes this from, “I’m interested” to “I will put my life on the line because I like you, stranger."
It’s a clear cut communication that she’s interested.
In this scenario she has every way out: she could be busy, might not trust you, say that you’re being way to forwards, etc. Her compliance voids every excuse leaving only her attraction for you.
You will typically catch these in a combination because of plausible deniability. When reading these signals, understand that the purpose as a man isn’t really to determine that she likes you. It’s to rule out that she doesn’t like you. You are playing to determine losses, and get the losses off your radar. You’ll then slowly start to recognize the nuance between winners and losers.
But first, click here to get more eyes on you, and give more women the chance to decide if they like you or not.