Getting Girls: Frame Control

Getting Girls: Frame Control

Frame control at its core is a girl voluntarily choosing to live and adhere to your reality and rules, over hers. You are a man, in your DNA lies the untapped potential of Mongol hordes, Egyptian kings, Viking warriors, and imperialist conquerors. Your ability to control your frame is your asserting and exemplifying that DNA. If we are being honest, what woman wouldn't want the security provided by that type of man.

As I said last week, in the battle of frames, one frame must consume the other. When interacting with a woman you like, the frame battle begins.

The last dating advice was on the approach. This week we are talking about the psychology/thought behind controlling the frame of an interaction.

Our biological imperative dictates two primal behaviors: Survival of the organism, survival of the species.

Women are charged with selecting the strongest men to ensure the survival of the spices. Couple that with a double dose of 'X'-chromosome-tuition, and you have a recipe to ensure the survival of the human race. Women are a finely evolved animal to picking the strongest of the strong. And with that comes the shit tests…

Shit Test

A woman shit tests you to make sure you are the shit. She is testing you to see if you will abandon your frame to supplicate to hers, or if you will stand tall in your frame and either a) reject hers, and/or b) force her to adopt yours.

Are you a man? Are you a decision maker? A protector/provider? Do you provide leadership and direction?

These things can manifest in your interactions with women as:

  • Do you have a plan/direction for your date? Or are you asking her what she wants to do?
  • Are you letting her walk on the outside close to the street/cars, or are you in-between her and the street/cars?
  • When she asks you to jump through a hoop for positive reaction, do you comply?
  • Are you splitting the bill?
  • Are you letting her boss you around?

At their core, these things come down to having an abundance mindset. If you could easily replace her, would how would you respond. Are you willing to take the L.

The greater abundance of women you have attracted to you, the less you will care about doing things you think will keep her around. Instead you will choose you, because there's another girl around the corner. You have to be able to handle a woman’s shit tests in a non-needy manner. You have to defend your frame even if it means losing her.

Your ability to handle her shit test indicates that the center of your universe is not her. And that you will not abandon it for a total complete stranger, or disrespect yourself for female attention.

After all: How can she trust you if you will sell out to a complete stranger, begging for her favor?

Controlling Frame

The game is on and you are in the thick of an interaction with a girl. Then she says some slick shit...

“When you feel a tingle in your nuts, it’s because a chick is about to kick you in the balls”

Address it immediately.

That tingle in your nuts. That weird feeling of disrespect that you feel in your guts. That’s your DNA telling you that an animal is trying to assert dominance over you. And like a predator, if she dominates, you are an evolutionary dead end.

When you feel those shit tests coming on, while there may not be "right answers" there are tactics available to keep you from the "wrong"" response.


  • Cocky funny: With an sense of arrogance and righteousness, make a joke of it.
    • Her: Why are you so mean?
    • Me (fail): I’m sorry.
    • ME (win): You’re supposed to tease the people you like. Didn’t you learn that in the third grade?
  • Agree and amplify: You're correct, you're wrong, it's more than that.
    • Her: Are you talking to any other girls?
    • Me (fail): No just you.
    • Me (win): All of them.
  • Nuclear: Don't play the hand you are dealt, flip the table over.
    • Her: What’s my name?
    • Me (fail): …I forgot, what is it again?
    • Me (win): No. Don’t do that.

These are not just conversational scripts. These tactics are conveyed through all senses: your body language, actions, thoughts, ideas, etc. It's about deflecting her shit tests as if you are are higher on the social caste system.

Your ability to handle shit tests will convey self respect while conveying protection, sexuality, and humor.

The thing that made it click for me was when I was told, "how serious would you take this from your 12 year old little sister. Are you going to take their shit seriously, or deflect and joke?"

Go practice!

Knowing game is understanding women, and the courtship dance, so you can get what you want out of relationships with women.

Talking to women is a different breed of practice. With most things in life, hard work in controlled practice environments, produces game day results.

With women, your practice is live game time experience. Learning how to talk to girls and control the frame, requires live reps of getting blown the hell out.

Understand, this is you making the choice to actively get rejected, to be better in the future. While the are a multitude of different counters, tactics, etc., to this mating dance we do with women, the purpose now is to get your reps in, so that you eventually become the game. Getting to the level where these reactions are engrained in your natural personality. And that’s what people mean when they say "be yourself."

But you are going to have to get those live ass kickings.


Look at your text message conversations. If you flip flop the bubbles—you are her text bubbles and she is yours—who is chasing who? Which person is leading the interaction? Who sounds clueless? Who sounds supplicating?

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