Getting to know a woman’s true character is a beautiful thing.
Following the Men of Order Twitter Tuesday night spaces talk, HJ dropped a fire post about 7-questions you need to be asking to screen for suitable women. Finding women of character who can add value to your life is the most important skill for a man to have. Not because women should be close to the center of your reality, but involving yourself with the wrong women can lead to catastrophic consequences.
The old influences of society allowed a woman to put her true self out there. Those softer consequences allowed women to learn to dial up or dial back what they shared with potential mates. Today, the woke social order has eliminated that safe environment. The modern women has no understanding of the neuance between too much and too little.
Additionally, the constant validation of the modern world has incentivized choosing the “too little” option up to, and beyond, the point of lying to themselves and others about everything they are:
Lip injections, BBLs, nail color, make up, high waisted pants, Instagram, YouTube, Dating Apps, etc.
In my life, of the 7-Questions HJ recommended, there were 3 questions that lead to follow up questions. These follow up questions get to the true honest part of herself that she doesn’t show anyone. Luckily, her willingness to answer these questions has a series of fail-safes determined by <redacted>. If you know you know. So you can’t be an abusive dickhead with her raw true self.
But hopefully when you have your shit together this will give you something to look towards.
“What are your top five favorite dishes to cook?”
Follow up: Who taught you that?
Answer: Parents & Grandparents
These are people that she loves, and love her. Not only that, they have shared, and passed on a piece of themselves that she can now share with the loves of her life.
- How does she talk about who taught her?
- How close are/were they?
- Does the meal remind them of a bygone happy experience?
Understand that whatever level of emotion she attaches to that person, is attached to the meal, and is the value she assigns to the people she cooks for.
Answer: Self Taught
While not as emotional, is a display of hard work whether its tasty or not. When sharing, she values your approval and making you happy. While family recipes could also fall into this category, self taught cooking can be viewed as making a conscious effort to learn a skill that’s meant for taking care of others.
And she is choosing to spend that hard work on you.
“What are you reading right now?”
Follow up: Why did you start reading this?
This will tell you about who/what is influencing her.
As you deal with a woman, you are committing to protecting her and the relationship from her bullshit. Knowing what stimuli she interacts with can shed light on positive or negative expectations, entitlements, world views, etc., that WILL manifest after month 3.
Women have a natural proclivity towards emotional masochism (indignation). They will often place themselves in the shoes of the information they absorb, projecting that reality onto their own incomparable lives. And they will do it knowing damn well that is not her life, and hold you accountable for the irrelevant comparrison.
You will be shocked at how the way Jay Z treats Beyonce effects her perception of your relationship with her. Understand her influences, and you can anticipate where the missiles will come from.
“When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?”
Follow up: What happened?
Women are highly susceptible to manipulation being the more emotional gender. Society will likely have indoctrinated them away from their childhood dreams, making the current her a disappointment to little her. A light-weird sensation of forlorn hope.
Women will also never admit they are wrong. If she is admitting her failure to you, understand that you are looking directly into her soul, and need to handle with care.
If the answer is positive push further.
- How big are you going to take it?
- Did you almost get derailed? Why?
- Tell me about a tough decision you had to make?
Her world is your oyster, you can go as deep as your want with the questions. She will tell you everything she never told anyone. With great power comes great responsibility. Don’t be a dickhead.
Actually I’ll tell you: one of the major safegaurds is being an upstanding, honorable man of high integrity. Total and complete congruence. The ultimate frame that she can lean on. And that is something you cannot fake.
Over the last 6 years the depth of information needed to be exchanged for male attention has crashed harder than the housing bubble. To see her true honest self, the need to ask the right questions is demanded of you now more than ever.
Enjoy it and don’t be shy. Verbalize what you like, and what you don’t. If you find it unique let her know. I understand for us its just note taking and checking off boxes.
But to her, amongst all the men in her life, you are the one who will get to know her true self.