I graduated college in 2013, and a year later, in the spring of 2014 I had it!
My dating life in college was non existent, and it made no sense. Not to brag, but: tall, dark, and handsome—check, check, check. Athletic, charismatic, eccentric—check, check, check.
Then why can’t I get a date, girlfriend, even a girl to kiss me?
What followed was years of study. Podcasts, YouTube, books, online forums. At the crux of the tactics, reading body language, and having tight game, was men becoming the best version of themselves.
From that journey I was able to peel back the veil on the true nature of women.
We will save the actual skills I learned for another time. But for today, we will talk about a few things I learned about women on the journey to become the best version of myself.
As you become the best version of yourself in complete congruency, you will notice the world projecting their thought bias on what you should be thinking, on you. A complete void of the benefit of the doubt.
And women will be leading the charge. Especially the ones you care about.
How many times has a woman you cared about accused you of character issues that you know aren’t you, you have said are not you, and you have told her are not you? Ever caught yourself wondering, “where is the benefit of the doubt?”
You may find a lot of women projecting their insecurities, and own behavior, onto you. Understand that they are snitching on themselves. They are telling you who they are given similar freedoms and situations.
Pay close attention fellas. If you are a man of order, congruence, and honor, when you find yourself being accused of things you are not, the accuser is telling on themselves.
Sex is on the Table the First Night
At the crux of the male-female interaction is sex. And for better or worse, most of the women you will interact with have had a one night stand. So understand that when she says, “I’m not like that”, know that all women are like that.
And you need to be coming, and positioning yourself to be that guy.
Her one night stand, more often that not, is a guy who hits all her attraction triggers. And in that moment, she has full on burning carnal, genetic desire for a man. And as a man, you should be striving to provoke that reaction in women.
Not so that you can get laid at will, although that is a nice perk, so that you can know that a girl wanting to sleep with you is genuine and not coerced or unwilling.
You should not be having sex with women who do not enthusiastically want to do so.
As you develop into the man who can inspire this in women, you can rest assured to screen the women who really like you from those who want to use you.
Her Outfit is a Reflection of You
You invited her to a coffee date and she shows up wearing sweat pants with no make up.
A week later, you’re at the same coffee shop, and she shows up on another date, in a sexy outfit, her hair freshly done, and make up on.
Some of you have been in a similar situation and felt that knot in your stomach. That tingle in your nuts, its cuz she kicked you in the balls. What you are actively realizing is that she valued the other guy more than you.
Now, her lack of dressing up for you isn’t necessary an indicator that she doesn’t care about you. But dressing up, IS an indicator that she does. So sweat pants isn’t bad, but its 100% not a good thing.
WTF is “a vibe”
That's a vibe (that's a vibe)
She wanna vibe, yeah (wanna vibe)
That's a vibe (that's a vibe)
Yeah, uh (that's a vibe)2 Chainz
This term is becoming more and more frequent in female vernacular. But when asked to explain it, you will be peppered with circular logic full of adjectives and adverbs with no concrete substance. They will use it in reference to guys they are attracted to, and generally a smooth, non-awkward interaction.
Women want a man that “gets it”. Another ambigious phrase.
A man that gets it understands the sexual, physical, mental, and emotional flow of dealing with a woman, when the two of you are attracted to each other. This flow manifests in women though non-verbal and indirect communication signals:
High pitched voice, arms crossed, disagreeable, shy, eye dilation, touch, chest facing you, eye contact, the list of cues are never ending.
Being able to read these signals, and make correct decisions in real time, based on these signals is being a guy who “gets it”. Women don’t want to be with a man they have to tell what to do. That sentence is usually followed with “he should just get it”.
Be the vibe fellas.